Breaking Through

There is a meme floating around social media that goes something like “Many times in life you will feel like you have been buried when the truth is, you have actually been planted.” I am certain that I haven’t said it exactly as I read it but oh well, you get my drift.

Do you ever feel buried? Do you feel like the weight on top of you is so great that you will never be able to rise above it? It’s ok, you’re not alone. I know it feels like all you can see in any direction is the darkness and it’s hard to be sure the sunshine is still out there. (It is.) I think in these times we need to focus more on the trail we are on in the moment rather than our ultimate destination.

So yeah, I know that every person has their own struggle and each has a different path to take before they reach their goals. Since I don’t know yours and can’t presume to speak on it, that means using mine as the illustration.

My writing is my path but as yet, I haven’t quite found the way to make it my career. That would be my own personal ray of sunshine. I have spent a lot of time wishing, hoping and wanting but never actually doing anything about it besides a bit of dabbling. Because I couldn’t see a clear path from point A to point B, I just assumed that there wasn’t one. Never occurred to me to make my own. Bogged down by various jobs that did nothing to feed my soul, were physically deteriorating or just plain wrong for me I never truly gave myself the chance because I didn’t really believe I could ever get there.

I still have the dream, but today I need to focus on clearing the path. For me, that means showing up for myself. It means following my heart and writing. Not worrying about if I can pay the bills with it, if I can sell an article or even if anyone ever reads this blog. I am writing. For me. Because it feels right. Because I have a feeling of accomplishment when I hit that publish button. Because I am proud when I pull up my site and look at what I have created.

I haven’t been buried, I have been planted. I’m still in the dark, but I am starting feel the warmth. There is still some weight on me but I am getting closer to the surface with each word that I write. I am growing roots and they are taking purchase in the soil. I am building a strong foundation so that when I finally break through into the light, I have a sturdy base to hold me up as I reach for the sun.

Today, I am a writer.