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I am an avid reader and several people I know share this passion. Books are wonderful and depending on your interests you can learn about any topic that you desire, any location in the world, or any historical event or person that strikes your imagination. You can also enter magical lands and encounter the most interesting and compelling people and creatures.

The weight of a good book in my hands is a distinct pleasure, the smell of the fresh pages and the stiffness as you open the covers for the first time all fill me with a sense of anticipation. I am a member of the digital age however and I will admit that in addition to the shelves of physical books I own, I also have a large collection in my kindle library and I find myself to be one of the several thousands who have graduated to digital reading. There is always a book available and waiting for me in my phone no matter where I am or what I am doing and I do appreciate that convenience.

I discovered BookBub within the first year of getting my kindle reader and I receive daily offers for new treasures and older classics at greatly discounted prices. This is a free site to join, just go to www.BookBub.com and create your account, select your preferences and sit back and let them find the deals and bring them to you. You will not have to provide them with your CC info and you will get daily emails that match your reading preferences which you can change or update at will. The usual price for these books is .99 or 1.99 with a few free selections and a few at 2.99 but I have rarely seen any higher prices. They have affiliate agreements with Amazon and Barnes & Noble so when you select a book to buy, you are redirected to your own account and it is seamless. Generally within 1-3 minutes my new treasure is downloaded to my kindle library and available for me to start exploring immediately.

If you are already aware of BookBub, you are probably as hooked as I am, if not, definitely go check them out. There is no cost to join, you set your own reading preferences and there are no hidden fees. They do all the searching, they find all the deals and bring them directly to you.  Happy Reading!

Today I am sharing a poem I wrote about 5 years ago for a very special woman. She is on my mind today more than usual and it feels perfect to bring her into my journey since her love and support were a huge part of my healing.

Mama Jean

I met her many years ago

When I was just a pup

Who could have guessed, way back then

Our lives would one day line up.

 

I was just a baby then

She, my mom’s best friend.

We lived our lives and walked our paths

Never knowing we’d meet again.

 

When I was broken she took me in

She gave me a place to heal

She helped me find my way again

Her love for me was real.

 

When the dragon took my mother

My heart was broken down

She put her arms around me

And said “I’m your mama now.”

 

She taught me to love horses

She taught me how to farm

For 14 years we loved and we laughed

We kept each other from harm.

 

Our lives are growing apart again

My path now takes me away

I hope she knows I’ll miss her

Each minute of every day.

 

I hope she knows I love her

And knows how much it means

To proudly be called daughter

By my precious Mama Jean

There is a meme floating around social media that goes something like “Many times in life you will feel like you have been buried when the truth is, you have actually been planted.” I am certain that I haven’t said it exactly as I read it but oh well, you get my drift.

Do you ever feel buried? Do you feel like the weight on top of you is so great that you will never be able to rise above it? It’s ok, you’re not alone. I know it feels like all you can see in any direction is the darkness and it’s hard to be sure the sunshine is still out there. (It is.) I think in these times we need to focus more on the trail we are on in the moment rather than our ultimate destination.

So yeah, I know that every person has their own struggle and each has a different path to take before they reach their goals. Since I don’t know yours and can’t presume to speak on it, that means using mine as the illustration.

My writing is my path but as yet, I haven’t quite found the way to make it my career. That would be my own personal ray of sunshine. I have spent a lot of time wishing, hoping and wanting but never actually doing anything about it besides a bit of dabbling. Because I couldn’t see a clear path from point A to point B, I just assumed that there wasn’t one. Never occurred to me to make my own. Bogged down by various jobs that did nothing to feed my soul, were physically deteriorating or just plain wrong for me I never truly gave myself the chance because I didn’t really believe I could ever get there.

I still have the dream, but today I need to focus on clearing the path. For me, that means showing up for myself. It means following my heart and writing. Not worrying about if I can pay the bills with it, if I can sell an article or even if anyone ever reads this blog. I am writing. For me. Because it feels right. Because I have a feeling of accomplishment when I hit that publish button. Because I am proud when I pull up my site and look at what I have created.

I haven’t been buried, I have been planted. I’m still in the dark, but I am starting feel the warmth. There is still some weight on me but I am getting closer to the surface with each word that I write. I am growing roots and they are taking purchase in the soil. I am building a strong foundation so that when I finally break through into the light, I have a sturdy base to hold me up as I reach for the sun.

Today, I am a writer.

 

 

 

 

 

Having decided to give my writing my best efforts and take real steps toward trying to build my future in a new direction, I am now sitting here working on my first ever blog post .

I spent the biggest majority of 2 days just trying to get the name right so I could buy the domain. This was actually harder than I expected. The name carries a lot of weight, it is the very first impression that you will have of me and my endeavors. I made lists of ideas, some were goofy, some way out there and some just altogether wrong. I thought I had found it a few times only to discover it not available. Obviously, I finally got here. The right name was always there,  just waiting for me to show up.

Then came setting up the page. Thank goodness Word Press is idiot friendly. I knew absolutely nothing about setting up a blog, about setting up a site, or anything else. Actually I still don’t, but since they do, it’s all good. I found my way around and figured out how to do my part and I’m really pleased with how it turned out.

As I fleshed out the main pages, I had a few more hurdles to go. I am a very private person who prefers not to share much as a rule. Suddenly I found myself writing content for a page about ME. Oh shit! Now I have to tell people I don’t know, personal things about myself?? It took me a bit of time and a few guarded attempts but I got there and I found that it wasn’t quite as scary as I had feared.

So here we are, at the end of my first official post. It has been a good week and I’m quite pleased so see how things have progressed. My quest to bring my writing into the foreground of my life is well and truly underway.

 

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton